I
had a photo shoot this past weekend with my friend Colleen and I was
nervous. I told her how much I really don't like myself in pictures and
certainly don't like self-promotion. But my website is being updated and
they need a picture of me (THANK YOU, Colleen,
for doing this for me). I have no problem as a photographer seeing
beauty in absolutely everyone else. I love being on that side of the camera.
It's so comfortable and I truly can see everyone's beauty through my
lens-it's my way of loving them and seeing their heart. But I don't like
to give myself as much grace. My hair is fine and lifeless. My nose is
the bane of my existence, a tough life lesson in bullying from all
directions as a young girl. My face is too thin and my chin is too
small. I have a cowlick passed down from my sweet mom the size of Texas.
My cheekbones have their own area code. I can go on and on about the
things I see about myself that are driven by my own vanity and
unwillingness to forgive myself for looking the way that I do. The world
may not call me pretty and it certainly doesn't want to publish me in
my 5'5" medium/large frame. Should it matter? God says "No": “Do not
consider her appearance or her height...the Lord does not look at the
things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the
Lord looks at the heart.” ~adapted to fit me from I Samuel 16:7When the Lord sees me, does he focus on the imperfections in my hair, my face, my chin, or eyebrows? He says no. He is looking straight into my heart and my HEART is beautiful. My heart is dressed in more splendor than any outfit I can buy on Rodeo drive to clothe my body. "You have searched me, Lord, and you know me." Psalm 139:1
What we think of our appearances shouldn't deter us from feeling beautiful-especially in the sight of the Creator of the universe. I'm learning this myself and trying to remember it when dealing with my girls. We should feel beautiful when God sees the love we have for Him and for others in our hearts. How He sees us truly is ALL that matters.
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