I am so blessed to know the people I know. My community of friends and acquaintances is like a breath of fresh air. They uplift and empower me. They are down to earth. My church family is where I find these amazing people.
You may remember my niece
Gabby, who came to stay with us this summer and decided to stay through the school year. Well, it has been a journey getting to know her and she is really a great kid! She has decided she missed her mom and dad too much, however, and returned home last week. It has affected my daughter Rio a lot. She walked around with a grey cloud over her head for a few days. Thankfully, she is coming out of it, but I know she misses her "big sister".
Sometimes throughout that journey, I had doubts with what to do. I needed advice. I needed a shoulder to lean on, a place to vent my frustrations, and a place to feel understood. The most prominent friend that came to light through that was Julia. Julia had been fostering for many years and had the experience I needed most. She was able to tell me when to relax and when to be firm. I enjoyed being able to share notes and hear that although she had been doing this much longer, she still had difficulties. Please enjoy her story and pictures as my guest blogger.
You Want Me to Do What?
Before Noah built his ark, or Abraham raised his knife, or Moses threw his staff on the ground, I’m sure they all asked the same question: “You want me to do what, Lord?”
Time and time again in scripture, God has called ordinary, unsuspecting people to become extraordinary on His behalf. In spite of their inadequacies, God equipped them with the tools they needed to fulfill the impossible. With God’s strength they were empowered and left us an example and a legacy.
Before my husband and I were married, we knew that we wanted children, both our own and others. We weren’t sure how that would work or when, but we knew that God had put that special desire in our hearts. Being young, dumb, and in love, we discarded the thought. How silly we were not to believe that God had a plan for us.
After 13 years of marriage and the birth of our three sons, God began to whisper again about raising children that were not biologically our own. Strangers, neighbors, and even our pastor were all offhandedly speaking to me about being a foster parent. I was surprised to learn that God was also whispering to my husband. I found myself screaming, “You want me to do what, Lord? I already have three children who take all of my time; my life is comfortable; I like my free time. You want me to do what?”
Jason and I decided that we would “check out” what was involved in becoming foster parents. What I thought might take a year or longer, took only months. Every time that I doubted God, He reaffirmed His plan for us through the words and actions of people around us. Even still, I was wrestling with God. I did not want to obey.
Several weeks after we were officially licensed to be foster parents, I gave it all to God. On that day, I was on my knees begging Him to show me that this was indeed His plan. I was doubting everything. I was scared. I was worried how I would protect my own children. I was worried how I could love someone else’s kids. I was broken. When I finished praying that day, I read a devotional in which God spoke these words to me: “Nowhere in the Bible are we promised a life free of trials, dangers and sorrows. Our joy is not based on a life that is comfortable, easy and effortless. Our joy is based on the fact that Jesus is with us in all we are called to endure. Faith involves not only trusting God when disappointments come but also believing that God will bless us with what is good.” Often when we least expect it, God invades our lives asking us to obey in ways that seem humanly impossible. That day, in that moment, I surrendered.
God did indeed invade our lives. Six years later, we have had eleven foster children come in our home. Some of them have been adopted, some of them have gone home to their parents, and some of them are living with us today. God bombarded our quiet, easy, comfortable lives. God said, “Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you,” Josh 1:9. Through the Holy Spirit, our family responded in faith and trust in an almighty God, knowing that He has a great plan for me and my children, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, Jer. 29:11.
The last six years have been the hardest of my life. I have seen my children love others even when they didn’t want to (Luke 6). I have watched them accept new children into our family even though they are sacrificing time with their parents, their friends, their freedoms.
I have found the joy in nightly dinners for 8, a big car full of stinky children, and loads and loads of laundry. I have discovered the true joy of a full night’s rest. Finally, I have found that the joy of the Lord is truly my strength.
Luke says Christ is with us (Luke 1:28). He hears our prayers and answers them (Luke 1:13). He calms our fears (Luke 1:13, 30). He establishes our confidence in Him (Luke 1:37). I no longer question God, saying “You want me to do what?” because I see the faces of our biological children who will be forever changed.
They will know what it means to sacrifice for the good of another, they will see the benefits of loving the ungrateful and unloveable. And I see the faces of our fostered children, who do not have parents to show them God’s love. I hear them sing hymns and praises to God in the bath, and I see the worries of the world leave them, if only for a little while.
And I know that God is good.
