I had the pleasure of photographing this beautiful family with the hopes of sharing their adoption story. I can't imagine life without people like them to fill this world. Both Doug and Cassie Miller have worked to help families that are thinking about fostering to adopt. They have recently begun fostering and Bennett stole their heart.
I get overcome with emotion when I think about people that have the heart to love children other than their own. It's not very rare in my life-I have been blessed to know so many through growing up in my church that have chosen to care for me and my siblings as if we were their very own. My life is better because of them. I'm not quite sure if they know the degree to which I am thankful, but if they ever read this or anything else I write, I would say, "THANK YOU". Thank you for being a mom, dad, sister, or brother. You weren't asked to, you weren't begged to, you weren't paid to-you just were. Maybe it was a word you said, some advice you gave, or a ride home. I depended on your giving heart so often to get me where I needed to be in life-physically, spiritually, and mentally. I still have spiritual parents today that take care of me and my growing family as if I really were birthed in their home and well...I am simply blessed. I want to honor all of you who do this beautiful thing called "family" beyond your bloodlines. That Spirit inside of you is from above; it is not made of your own comfort or will, and it cannot be fabricated. Thank you.
Here is my guest blogger, Cassie, with her adoption story of sweet Bennett:
For as long as I can remember, I've known that I would adopt a child. On one of the first dates with my future husband, we talked about it. His mom had been adopted from Italy and he too wanted to adopt. It took many years and two biological children before we decided we were really ready. For years we had been preparing to adopt, such as getting a larger house and car, but there were always reasons to wait. Our oldest child was four at the time and had been going through a "I hate God" stage, despite that he didn't know what hate was. One night as I was putting him down to bed, that disappeared. He looked me in the eyes and said, "God said you're going to have another baby." I know that I physically couldn't so I asked what he meant. He said, "God said you're missing a baby. There's me, there's Hallie, and there's another baby". My husband and I had been privately discussing when it would be the right time to become foster parents and his revelation gave us the push we needed. We talked to our children, who were two and four, and explained in the simplest way possible. There are Mommies and Daddies that make bad choices and God needs other Mommies and Daddies to take care of their kids until they get better. Our oldest said that it was just like babysitting for a long time and that was fine with him. I think people often worry that their kids are too young to be foster siblings, but the compassion and understanding that my kids displayed was so much more than I could have expected. Young children have the unique ability to love anyone, no matter what.
When our foster parent licensing process was complete, we were desperately wanting to take in a child. We had an overwhelming desire to fill that void in a child's life. I often wondered what "my child" was doing. Was someone hurting them or neglecting them? It was so hard and I didn't know how long we would have to wait or how long the child would suffer. I just knew that God had a plan. We have a very wise friend who explained that we would want to say yes to any child they called us about but that we needed to put that aside and stop to pray. We received two calls that we did this with and neither child was placed with us.
Shortly before my husband left for an overseas mission trip, he told me that we were probably going to get a baby while he was gone and it was ok. If the baby was going to cry for months from withdrawals, he wouldn't blame me for my choice. A few days before he was to return I received a call from a placing agent saying that they had three, two day olds and wanted to know which one I wanted. That is certainly a moment that took my breath away. How do you choose? The first little girl had a serious medical need that I knew I couldn't take on. It was between a Hispanic girl and an African American boy. I literally had no idea how to choose as I had no preference on race or gender. I asked the agent to call back with more details on the cases. I discussed it with a friend who happened to be at my house and was leaning towards taking the girl. You see, the agent said that the little boy had drugs in his system and the girl did not. I thought it would be easier and was afraid to take a chance. My husband was far away in a village with no cell service so it was between me and God to make a decision. I went back into my office to wait for the call and prayed. I prayed so hard for God to just tell me who to choose. "God how can I choose one baby over the other? Who do I choose? Please just tell me who to choose. " In that moment the phone rang and the very first thing the agent said to me was, "I think you should choose the boy. I don't know why, I just think you should take the boy." I immediately knew that it was God who guided her words. Another remarkable moment came when they brought him to my house. There had been a mistake and he wasn't the baby with the drugs in his system. It had been the girl.
The moment I met our sweet little boy I knew I was in love and my children were smitten. Taking him to the airport to meet my husband is a moment I'll never forget. From the beginning we were told that his birth mother was planning to fight for him and we wouldn't have him long. I had asked God to help me to know what would happen . Either way I was going to love this boy with everything in me. Weeks went by without any contact from his mother and finally at a few months old I received a call from his social worker. His mother wanted a visitation the following day and it was my choice. I could wait to have a judge order it but I couldn't imagine keeping him from her. What a blessed day that was! She held him for two hours and it was easy to see she loved him. She gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and thanked me for being his other mother and for taking such good care of him. I asked if I could take their picture together and bring it back to her the next time. God gave me a feeling and I knew that it could be my only opportunity. After that meeting, the social workers never heard from her again.
The foster to adopt process is set to where it gives ample opportunity for the birth parents to step up and take responsibility. Because I had asked God to tell me what would happen, I had no doubt that he was our son. Even the social workers called him ours. At eighteen months old, surrounded by friends and family, he legally became our son. It was one of the happiest moments of my life! It's hard to remember life before three children but I couldn't imagine it any other way. He will never look like us but he will always know he is forever ours and that we love him more than could ever be expressed. We are so proud to call him our son. Please take a moment to pray for a child who needs a family. They may not even be born yet, but they could already be yours. Even if fostering or adopting isn't in your future, your prayers could greatly benefit children who are desperately in need of a loving family. God will bless you immeasurably, you just have to let him. May God fill your heart with the kind of joy he has so richly blessed our family with.
I get overcome with emotion when I think about people that have the heart to love children other than their own. It's not very rare in my life-I have been blessed to know so many through growing up in my church that have chosen to care for me and my siblings as if we were their very own. My life is better because of them. I'm not quite sure if they know the degree to which I am thankful, but if they ever read this or anything else I write, I would say, "THANK YOU". Thank you for being a mom, dad, sister, or brother. You weren't asked to, you weren't begged to, you weren't paid to-you just were. Maybe it was a word you said, some advice you gave, or a ride home. I depended on your giving heart so often to get me where I needed to be in life-physically, spiritually, and mentally. I still have spiritual parents today that take care of me and my growing family as if I really were birthed in their home and well...I am simply blessed. I want to honor all of you who do this beautiful thing called "family" beyond your bloodlines. That Spirit inside of you is from above; it is not made of your own comfort or will, and it cannot be fabricated. Thank you.
Here is my guest blogger, Cassie, with her adoption story of sweet Bennett:
For as long as I can remember, I've known that I would adopt a child. On one of the first dates with my future husband, we talked about it. His mom had been adopted from Italy and he too wanted to adopt. It took many years and two biological children before we decided we were really ready. For years we had been preparing to adopt, such as getting a larger house and car, but there were always reasons to wait. Our oldest child was four at the time and had been going through a "I hate God" stage, despite that he didn't know what hate was. One night as I was putting him down to bed, that disappeared. He looked me in the eyes and said, "God said you're going to have another baby." I know that I physically couldn't so I asked what he meant. He said, "God said you're missing a baby. There's me, there's Hallie, and there's another baby". My husband and I had been privately discussing when it would be the right time to become foster parents and his revelation gave us the push we needed. We talked to our children, who were two and four, and explained in the simplest way possible. There are Mommies and Daddies that make bad choices and God needs other Mommies and Daddies to take care of their kids until they get better. Our oldest said that it was just like babysitting for a long time and that was fine with him. I think people often worry that their kids are too young to be foster siblings, but the compassion and understanding that my kids displayed was so much more than I could have expected. Young children have the unique ability to love anyone, no matter what.
When our foster parent licensing process was complete, we were desperately wanting to take in a child. We had an overwhelming desire to fill that void in a child's life. I often wondered what "my child" was doing. Was someone hurting them or neglecting them? It was so hard and I didn't know how long we would have to wait or how long the child would suffer. I just knew that God had a plan. We have a very wise friend who explained that we would want to say yes to any child they called us about but that we needed to put that aside and stop to pray. We received two calls that we did this with and neither child was placed with us.
Shortly before my husband left for an overseas mission trip, he told me that we were probably going to get a baby while he was gone and it was ok. If the baby was going to cry for months from withdrawals, he wouldn't blame me for my choice. A few days before he was to return I received a call from a placing agent saying that they had three, two day olds and wanted to know which one I wanted. That is certainly a moment that took my breath away. How do you choose? The first little girl had a serious medical need that I knew I couldn't take on. It was between a Hispanic girl and an African American boy. I literally had no idea how to choose as I had no preference on race or gender. I asked the agent to call back with more details on the cases. I discussed it with a friend who happened to be at my house and was leaning towards taking the girl. You see, the agent said that the little boy had drugs in his system and the girl did not. I thought it would be easier and was afraid to take a chance. My husband was far away in a village with no cell service so it was between me and God to make a decision. I went back into my office to wait for the call and prayed. I prayed so hard for God to just tell me who to choose. "God how can I choose one baby over the other? Who do I choose? Please just tell me who to choose. " In that moment the phone rang and the very first thing the agent said to me was, "I think you should choose the boy. I don't know why, I just think you should take the boy." I immediately knew that it was God who guided her words. Another remarkable moment came when they brought him to my house. There had been a mistake and he wasn't the baby with the drugs in his system. It had been the girl.
The foster to adopt process is set to where it gives ample opportunity for the birth parents to step up and take responsibility. Because I had asked God to tell me what would happen, I had no doubt that he was our son. Even the social workers called him ours. At eighteen months old, surrounded by friends and family, he legally became our son. It was one of the happiest moments of my life! It's hard to remember life before three children but I couldn't imagine it any other way. He will never look like us but he will always know he is forever ours and that we love him more than could ever be expressed. We are so proud to call him our son. Please take a moment to pray for a child who needs a family. They may not even be born yet, but they could already be yours. Even if fostering or adopting isn't in your future, your prayers could greatly benefit children who are desperately in need of a loving family. God will bless you immeasurably, you just have to let him. May God fill your heart with the kind of joy he has so richly blessed our family with.
